After reluctantly registering for the Tough Mudder 10 weeks ago, we are at 18 hours 'til go time! As I mentioned before, this was a race that I said I would never take on. I've always said I was going to keep my feet on the ground. My dad instilled in me to avoid danger. He was super protective and nervous of anything that involved danger and kept me steer clear of it. He was the type of guy that would freak out about anything and everything, and called to check in with both Gina and I multiple times a day, for things as little as car rides because "it's always the other person that will hurt you." With this, fears drilled into my head constantly and I've grown to do exactly that- fear the unknown.
On several occasions I have registered for races, promised friends I'd do something with them or go on a new ride at an amusement park, then at the last minute chicken out and cancel. I had the opportunity to be part of the Biggest Loser team for the SC Spartan in October and went out on a limb and did it. It would be a watered down version, I could test the waters without penalty, and there would be volunteers with us to assist when needed. It was one of the best decisions I had made for myself in a while, and though some obstacles went better than others, I followed through.
In March, when the bodyco team was created for the Tough Mudder, I was invited to join them and without hesitation gave them a big old no. I had my limits and in my mind Tough Mudder was where the line was drawn in the sand. They persisted. I am not very good at peer pressure. I found a coupon and before my mind could catch up to what I was doing, I registered. They didn't know this (well now they do) but my plan was to silence the peer pressure, then find some way to back out.
A few weeks later I got invited to a friends wedding, which was taking place the same day as the race. Done! I was out! Now I just had to decide when a good time to tell them was. I dragged my feet for multiple weeks and continued to train, some of which went so well that I was torn whether to back out. Three weeks ago I decided I would tell Jody that day. I went into the training session unfocused and not in work mode. I was a complete jerk the entire time. Thinking back on it, I would've sent me home if I was on the other side of the fence. I was wasting my time and hers. However she didn't let up. Every time I bitched, she made me do it anyway. After the session, when I was supposed to head out for a 4 mile trail run and it started to rain, she gave me another circuit to do, so I wouldn't do nothing. She wouldn't let me off the hook. Her care for her clients are nothing that I've had experience with before and I again, chickened out....this time it being to my advantage. I headed to work and thought hard about everything- my past, the work that I have put in at bodyco in the almost year that I've been there, the time, dedication and great work Jody has put in with me, and the fact that I am constantly running from every fear I have. I booked my hotel for VT the next day.
I have spent the last few weeks looking to tomorow and though as i lay in my hotel room I am nervous as hell, I am even more excited. I have been watching Tough Mudder videos all weekend, and cannot wait to earn my orange head band. It will definitely be a tough course, but something i'm ready to take on full throttle. I have always had people relying on me, and am not good with relying on others, but Saturday I am ready to let my guard down and make things happen.
Hopefully the next time I write I will be in one piece and have some good stories to tell. In the meantime...let's do this Team bodyco!
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