2016 Breast Cancer Marathon

Seven out of nine 26.2 with Donna Halves are now in the books. I never thought that a little over six years ago, when I stumbled upon this race, I'd be continuing to make the trip to Jacksonville year after year and fall in love with the race more and more.

As in the usual Babs fashion, I didn't completely train. I spend lots of time in the gym, but running on the treadmill is not my favorite of things, so I relied on my 8 mile "long run" and cross training. To be honest, up until about a month ago, I debated on whether I'd even go down this year. I was also registered for the Jacksonville Half in January, and ended up skipping it. I was struggling to raise money this year, wasn't as involved in helping out as I had been in past years, and felt sort of "out of the loop." I had recently won a contest through Spartan and really wanted to focus on that. I got a few donations shortly after that, and found myself invested. After yesterday's events, I couldn't be happier that I traveled for Donna #7 and cannot wait to get back next year.

After a few flight delays, I got down to Jacksonville Saturday at 12:45 or so and headed right to the expo. Though only for a brief few seconds, I got to see a few friendly faces, and I instantly felt that I wasn't down there completely alone. The weather was a gorgeous 62 (beating Boston negative temps!) and I even had time before dinner to catch some vitamin D poolside. I found a local hole in the wall Italian place to carb load at, and I instantly knew I was "home" when I walked in and was offered a Bud light or white zin. I was in bed by 8:50 and more than any race in years past, was ready to take on 13.1 the next morning.

I usually get to the start as late as possible, but decided to head there early this year, so that I wasn't having to park a mile away and walk far on sore legs afterwards. It was a great decision, for I had no bathroom line, no pre race nerves and even got to see one of my Donna buddies!

This year was by far the best race thus far. The expo was second to none, travel to and from the race location was on point and the new course was just as beautiful as always. I started out at the end of the 2 hour group, and was feeling great, but decided to jump in with the 2:15 Galloway pacer group since I was lacking in the training department, and knew it was eventually going to get a litte warmer as the race went on. I have only done the run/ walk method one other time, but after 12 miles of a 1:30/0:30 ratio, I think I may be a new convert! I didn't feel sick post race, and actually hung around the post race party for an hour.

When I finished, I had an email that again my flight would be delayed getting out, thanks to the North East cold, and on a whim Gina had me hustling back to the hotel to get my stuff and race (again) to the airport. Thanks to a 3 hour delay on the earlier flight, I was in the air at 2:45, making my time in Jacksonville a mere 25 hours!

I cannot express enough how much I love this race. From the story behind it, the staff, the mission, the crowd and the event itself I find I always leave Jacksonville rejuvenated, inspired and so incredibly proud to be a part of it. For 13 miles, I get high fives, hugs, cheers, beers (which I didn't take at 9am), nutrition and love from neighbors, friends, patients, survivors and fellow runners.

The support I receive from family and friends are nothing less than amazing as well. I hear how much I inspire you, but it is YOU that inspires me to push on and give it my all, more than I generally do in any other race. I appreciate your support so very much, and please know that you are making a HUGE difference in the lives of women and men who are going through breast cancer treatment.

Whether you have run 50 marathons, or never one at all, I cannot recommend enough being involved in the 26.2 with Donna. They have a 5k, half marathon, relay, and ultra 110. From when you get off the plane, to when you depart they make you feel so welcome.

February 2017- come run with me!

One Year Later...

Facebook has been reminding me daily of all my life events throughout the years. Today's could not have made for a better start, for one year ago at about this time, I got a taste of my first Spartan. Facebook chose this photo to remind me of it.

Under it, I wrote this "Vowed I'd never take on a Spartan race. Have registered for multiple obstacle races in the past and chickened out at the end. Huge thanks to these awesome ladies who in 4 months gave me the confidence to toe the start line. Some obstacles went better than others, but am incredibly grateful to them and look forward to gaining more strength and doing another!"

This could not be more true. I talk a lot about how much I have grown at bodyco, so not going to get too much into that, but you always know when you achieved something great, when you look back at it, now a year later and still get butterflies.

Looking back, I find it so crazy how far I've come since this day. I remember the morning leading up to it, pacing the grounds for an hour, nauseated, teary and wondering what I was really doing. When I got the start line and found out I had to get over a wall before I could even start the race I almost left. Luckily, I was running as part of the Biggest Loser Challenge, and they wouldn't let me. Not only did I follow through that day, I broke from the pack half way and finished solo.

Since then I have completed two more Spartans and four half marathons. This weekend i'll be taking on my 5th for the year in Philly, followed by two Spartans the following week and an OCR the week after that. With dad's anniversary looming, I know these next couple of weeks are going to be a toll on me, but to be able to channel my emotions in a positive way helps tremendously.

Things I've learned this year...
~Mind over matter. As much as you may think your body can't handle something, if you can train your mind to push on, you will get there.
~Don't be afraid to ask for help. If someone is offering their assistance it's probably because they want to. Let them in.
~As you change, you will gain wonderful people in your life. You will also lose some. Accept it. Embrace it, and move on.
~Push yourself. If you don't, you will remain the same. You will feel better after, I promise.
~Do what makes YOU happy. This was certainly the hardest thing for me because I have always been the one to do things for others and make sure everyone else is happy. I never took time for me nor pursued anything that I was really passionate about. By re evaluating this, I have become a much better person, which in turn has made me a stronger person.
~Learn from your mistakes. You will definitely make them. You will slip up. You are human. It's allowed. Just don't dwell on them. Pick yourself up and keep going.
~Smile. It helps. A lot. 

This morning both of these ladies took my class, which I would have never even thought possible a year ago. They constantly push me to be better in all aspects of fitness, and when I try to slack, have no problem with calling me out. It has certainly paid off, and they have motivated and inspired me to help spark that in others.

From Beers to Berries

I keep saying I'm going to update this more often and then slack. Today was kind of a big reflection day for me, so what better time to write than now? As my dad's first anniversary gets closer, and we plan his mass I am beginning to get really, really melancholy. I am good at the fake smile and plugging along, but today I got to genuinely smile when I needed it most.

As you all see from my multitude of social media posts, I am working real hard at getting myself more fit. I am at bodyco about 5 days a week and training for some upcoming OCR's and half marathons. I am teaching Spinning twice a week at bodyco and Fitness Balanced, as well as studying to be a certified trainer. From what started out as a way to blow off steam & stress during a difficult time, the awesome folks at bodyco have challenged me to become stronger and happier than I ever have been in the past. Being able to be pushed beyond what my mind things I can achieve is something I adore, and taking that encouragement to push others in my class to do the same is awesome.

One thing that always seems to haunt me however, is the scale. I sweat like crazy all over the gym, burning hundreds (sometimes over 1,000) calories at a time, yet the scale never moves...and many times when it does it's in the opposite direction. I often hover within a 4lb range and over the last 6 months or so have not been able to get out of that. After some persuasion, my desperation to move the scale, and really having nothing to lose except my sanity I took on the Advocare cleanse over the last week and a half. It just so happened that my home scale broke 2 weeks ago, so I couldn't continually weigh every day. I weighed at the gym the day before I started, 4 days in, and this morning (11 days from the start). Within  the first 4 days the dreaded 4lbs were gone (still within my range), but mid way struggled a bit. I started to feel sluggish, heavy, and was certain I was gaining weight. I did have one slip up that night but promised myself that I would carry it out.

This morning before class & training I got back on the scale again to see that I was down another 2lbs. Weeks ago this number would have defeated me. For the last two weeks I've given up coffee, breads, alcohol and sugars. Without a doubt I would've thought the scale would've showed that, but it didn't. The old me would've either instantly cried, or stopped at Bagel World on my way to work because why not, i'm not making progress. However, I took a before and after picture of myself (as well as had one from March) & can physically see my body changing. I've had people mention to me that I "look fit" or "look great," but I often times don't believe it myself. It's definitely a photo that I will be keeping to a select few, but without a doubt gave me the confidence I needed to push even harder than I have and work to my goals of where I want to be. I have learned so much about myself in these past few weeks. The biggest being that I don't need all the terrible things I was putting into my body. I went from drinking multiple coffees to get me through my day to none at all. My love for tuna minus the mayo was still great and eating a baked sweet potato instead of fries didn't kill me. I felt so much more energy in workouts after trading my bagels for oatmeal and fruit and even was able to have a day out with friends drinking nothing but water.

I have a while to go before I am where I want to be, but after seeing in print where I came from, a spark was lit under me to work harder towards not going back. Towards the end of today's workout, when I thought I had nothing left in me, Jody told me I couldn't leave 'til I did 100 push ups. I felt myself about to get emotional & "I can't" was about to come out of my mouth, but knowing she wouldn't make me do anything she didn't think I could, I pushed through them piece by piece. Though a trainer is a support for their client, everyone at bodyco goes above and beyond that. Getting to work so closely with them, especially Jody inspires me to push harder. I'd be lying if I said I didn't shed a tear this afternoon when comparing my photo from March. I can't wait to see what's next!

Welcome Fall

It's absolutely crazy to think that the summer has ended and we are nearing October next week! As I read back my previous post, I feel like I was just reflecting on my year at bodyco, which apparently was three months ago. In reading that post I saw that one of the mentions was my want to give back to others what I have had the pleasure of receiving this last year and a half. This was getting my "old self back" and turning some of my free time into the athlete that I have wanted to be for quite a while. I am so stoked to say that this summer I've done just that. I've brought my passion for Spinning to fruition and became a Certified Instructor. I currently sub at bodyco as needed, and just became an instructor at Fitness Balance in Wakefield. (Come check out one of my classes at either place!) I also completed a course in personal training over the summer, so once I can find a little time to study and take my exam i'll be picking up more classes. :) I'm so excited to have found something I truly love and look forward to doing more of it!

Though I didn't take on as many races as I wanted to over the summer, I was able to get in a Spartan Sprint and the Virginia Beach Half Marathon. The Spartan specifically went really, really well and was a great validation to how much strength training is working for me. This was the first obstacle course race that I've ever done alone, and wasn't sure how I would fare. Most people are really good about helping out at obstacles, but I don't do well with asking for help, especially from strangers. If I can't do it, and someone doesn't offer a hand, i'll generally go right to my burpees. Though I did fail 5 obstacles (monkey bars, multi bars, rope climb, stairway to Sparta & 12 foot wall), I was really proud of my results. I came in 31st of 216 in my age group and finished in a little under 2 hours. For the first time ever, I was able to get over the 6ft wall alone...and the other 5 of them throughout the course. I got some great pics along the way, including this gem.

As you can see, it was a muddy one, but I can't wait to do another! I also had the opportunity to take my mom to the race. Not sure if i'd do that again, since the walking terrain is less than ideal, but I'm pretty sure she had more fun than I did.
My other summer race was the Virginia Beach Half, which I did not train for quite as well. I signed up for another September half marathon so that I would have all summer to train. Well the summer got ahead of me, and previous to the race, the longest distance I had run since my Tough Mudder in June was five miles. Despite the circumstances, I was going to a beautiful place, with one of my best friends, so was determined to make the most of it and run my own race. The weather was about 70, and raining off and on, which made for perfect running weather. The first six miles were great, but as my miles increased, my lack of preparation became more apparent. I ended up walking a good portion of miles 10-11, but still finished in 2:22, which is one of my "better" times.

I was so sore, exhausted and cramped that I laid on the side of the finish and allowed a random man to stretch me out (not part of the race staff), but certainly took it as a positive and reminder of how important training really is. I also learned that i'm beginning to get bored with half marathons. I've bitten the OCR apple and really want to focus on that for next year.
With the cooler weather on our heels, race season is coming to an end, but I do have a few more exciting adventures soon! I am running the Philly Half Marathon on Halloween, then taking on the Fenway Spartan both Saturday and Sunday of the following week. The Carolina Spartan was my very first OCR and it is taking place the week after Fenway. I am still going back and forth as to whether to do it, but I really, really want to. It was the day that I landed back from that very race, where I was told my dad would probably not last more than two weeks (which was accurate within 2 days) and that weekend will be the one year anniversary of his wake & funeral. I really want to honor his memory and do something positive with the day. I think it will bring everything full circle and give me some much needed closure. Since I fly for free, I can play it by ear...but i'm really thinking of it if I can work it out with my schedule.

You all know how much I hate running on a treadmill, but I am going to try and make a better effort of training for my half marathons. I am already registered for two halves in Jacksonville in January and February, so need to keep up my mileage after Philly. If I can get myself into a more regimented schedule, I think I can make it happen. I'm starting to plan out what races I want to do next year, so if you want a buddy to race with, let me know! :-)

Oh! and I have a new niece! She has been keeping me nice and busy when i'm not at work/ training and I can't wait to take her on my running adventures next spring!

One Year Reflection...

Tomorrow marks one year since I began working out with the bodyco team. I don't remember a ton of things that happened last year, but one of the few I do is how much getting back into working out got me through the last 12 months and made me a significantly better person than I was a year and a half ago. In January of last year, having recently moved away from a place I spent the first 30 years of my life, dad getting his terminal diagnosis, I having to leave my job that I loved, and having no friends or support system around me I spun out of control. Not only did I eat terribly, was not active in any way, I was a mental and emotional mess.

I am pretty introverted and am not one to express my feelings with others. I never opened up to many about this, but feel it sets the tone for the past year and the better place I have been able to move to. I happened to have a routine physical in early June of last year and my doc whom I generally adore told me I was not only overweight, but moving toward obesity. I was a complete mess & completely offended. This was the day before I found bodyco. Reading back on blogs over the last year, it was obvious that my doctor was exactly right.  I was a hot mess. As you have read previously, I joined, hated it, but something kept me coming back. Looking back now I didn't hate it, I hated me. I was scared. Scared to fail, scared to look like a fool, scared to succeed even.

I can't thank them, specifically Jody, enough for not giving up on me, for dealing with my bitching, crying, failures, and eventually getting me to where I am now. She cheered for me when I couldn't cheer for myself. The little things like random check ins and positive feedback, to big things like pushing me to do more and register for races with the bodyco team added up to me being the strongest I ever have in my life. Being able to sweat all over their gym (and that's one thing i'm good at) I was able to prove to myself that I could keep up with most of the other members. I give myself a lot of grief about not losing much weight, but I have grown leaps and bounds both physically and mentally by putting in the work at bodyco. Never would I have ever imagined completing five half marathons (and being registered for two more!), two Spartan races (and being registered for three more!) and most especially a Tough Mudder in the last twelve months. The pic below shows exactly that. The ones on the left were taken the week I joined bodyco, and the right were from two weeks ago. I can not only see a physical change in my body, but a genuine smile, something I was missing for a while.

I can't say enough about how awesome and supportive bodyco is. From staff to fellow members, it's an incredibly welcoming environment. I look forward to seeing what the next year brings. I hope to one day be able to give back and help others as they have helped me. Until then, AROO!, HOORAH!, and THANK YOU!

I'm A Mudder!

This weekend was quite crazy. I laughed, I cried, but most importantly I muddered and finished.

It started Friday afternoon where because of a few issues I had to rent a Hertz car to head up to Mt Snow. They were very kind and I got to take an Accord up for very cheap since it was a body damage & they couldn't rent it. Even with the delay I still got to the inn at about 4. Got a really great chicken pasta meal for dinner & hit the hay early in prep for the race Saturday. We ended up getting a noon start time, which for me is not ideal because it allows time for my mind to wander and second guess everything. Had I known what time we were starting before I booked the place, I would've never stood Friday. The drive up would have killed time and kept my mind off the race, and when I got there it would be go time. Instead I ate breakfast at 7:30 and laid around the room until I finally couldn't deal anymore and headed to the mountain at about 10. I met the rest of the team, and as my nerves would have it I lost my bib within 5 minutes. I was able to locate it a few minutes later, but not off to a great start. We got to the warm up area and got the "Tough Mudder Speech" before heading up the mountain. Eighteen obstacles were before us- and if I could do it all over or have advice for others, it's focus on leg work and train on hills! They were more brutal than any obstacle that was before us. The very last hill was pretty much vertical and almost took me out. I am so grateful for the leg work we were given to do at bodyco, and though I definitely could have used more, would never have completed the race otherwise.

At the start of the race we all agreed we would run our own race, but do the obstacles together for the most part.

A little breakdown of the obstacles...

1) Kiss of Mud- Basically a barbed wire crawl through the mud. Not difficult, just dirty. Tip- learn to stay low and army crawl. Hands and knees won't do it for most.

2) Quagmire- More mud. This time you had to go down a slope into mud about thigh high and sticky. Not terribly difficult, but definitely something that you can wipe out on if you loose footing...like me. I face planted the mud and nailed my knee on a rock that was in the mud. My blue knee looks worse than it actually felt. I jumped back up and was fine, aside for the sand in my contacts. Tip- go slow through it.

3) Liberator- Basically moving pegs up a 12-15 foot wall as you climb. This got the best of me at first, but some nice dude gave me lift and I used one of my hand pegs for my foot and pulled myself over. Tip- Focus on upper body strength for this one!

4) Bale Bonds- Huge hay bails you had to climb/ jump over. This one was pretty fun. You don't need a lot of prep for it. Just go at it and climb.

5) Beached Whale- A 15ish foot blow up tube that you have to climb up and over. This was the first obstacle that I really had to rely on my team for. There is no way you can really run and jump up. The two guys on our team got up there first, then reached their hands and pulled the rest of us up. I got a running start and though missed the first time, got a little more speed and nailed their hand on the second. Tip- practice run and jumps. Maybe box jumps could be helpful here as well. Also trust your team. Going into my first run I had "he will never be able to lift my ass" in my head and didn't go at it with full power. If I wanted to get over it I had to trust my team and go all in. It was a great set up to our next obstacle...

6) Everest- Basically a half pipe sort of thing with a rounded top. Again, get a running start and do your best to reach for those above you. This time all three guys headed up. There was a rope that they could drop down some, which was really helpful because if you couldn't run straight up, you could grab the rope and pull up enough for someone to grab any possible part of your body and you both pull up together. Again, definitely not something you can conquer alone.

7) Birth Canal- A small enclosed wood frame with a tarp above you and water pushing you down. Tip- stay as far to the side as you can and bear crawl through. Again, hands and knees are going to make it harder.

8) Funky Monkey- Just as it sounds. Monkey bars above the water that then transition to a straight moving bar. It's all upper body strength so if you're lacking in that department like me, just be ready to swim. It took me a second because I wanted to get a few bars in so I wouldn't smack my head on the ledge, finally just dove forward and in.

9) Prairie Dog- A long black tube that you push yourself through ending up in more mud. I kind of liked this one. If you're scared of small spaces I can see how it might freak someone out, but it was pretty fun.

10) Skid Marked- An inverted wall about 8 feet high. Tip- utilize the people above the wall and below with you. A nice guy gave me a lift and I pulled myself around the side, but Jesse was at the top ready to help pull me over if needed.

11) Devil's Beard- A huge heavy cargo net (maybe 50 feet) that you have to get through. We rolled the entire way, which was ok until I had to stand up at the end and thought I was going to fall over. Had to sit and collect my head again before continuing. A group behind us when I got up were all walking under it together in line, which seemed to work well.

12) Warrior Carry- Carry your partner half of a distance (maybe 100 yards) then switch. Andy carried me half, then we walked the last half. I was going to give it a go and carry him but he wouldn't let me.

13) Balls Out- You have to get yourself across an inverted wall using a series of ropes to swing from one to the other. This was one of two obstacles that I failed. I got two across and couldn't grab on to the third. Got back up and fell back off on the 4th. Tip- people seemed to have a good rhythm and moved fast through it. I think if you hold on and stay in one place too long (as I did) you will wear down your hands quick. Grip strength is very important on this one.

14) Arctic Enema- Slide into a dumpster of ice, jump over a wall halfway into the dumpster then back in the water and out the other side. I was told by many that this was the worst obstacle. I am always cold, so my friends were sure this would kill me more than anything else on the course. I actually found it to not be that bad. I had just failed the previous obstacle, so I think I was in redemption mode, but I would certainly do this one again before a few others. Tip- move fast. That's about it.

15) Walk the Plank- Jumped off a 15 foot plank into 12 feet of water, then swim out the other side. This was one of two obstacles I didn't do. I was feeling a little below average and didn't trust my ability to swim up from 12ft deep water.

16) Cry Baby- Crawl through a chamber filled with some sort of vapor rub tear gas. This was the second obstacle I didn't do. I would have certainly done it, had I got gashed my elbow at some point a little bit before and had to go to the medical station to get patched up. They took forever to wash and bandage it and when I was done, my team was already waiting for me on the other side.

17) Berlin Walls- Climb up and over a 12 foot wall. This was the second obstacle I failed. There is no groove in the wall to get a lift on and I couldn't get good footing on the side support to get myself high enough to reach Jesse. I gave it a few tries, but at that point we were so close to being done that I didn't want to hold anyone up.

18) Electroshock Therapy- Run about 50 feet through live wires. The rest of the team got to bypass this obstacle since they are legionaries (have done a mudder before)  and complete something else, so I was flying solo on this one. Again, this was the other one people told me I was crazy for doing and I didn't think it was half bad. I got hit once on the top of my head, but it hit my headband so I barely felt it. I did see a few people get knocked down though.

For the above reason, I ended up going through the finish line by myself. I was so jacked up about finishing that I was ready to jump into the arms of anyone, whether stranger or teammate. I however did neither, and instead squatted on the side of the finish line, reflected and shed a tear while I waited for my team. I was a little aggravated that the wall got the best of me, but was over it in about a minute considering all the positives that came out of the day. I never expected to do as well as I did, especially by myself on many things.

We spent Saturday night celebrating with some good dinner, a little dancing, and hot tub action, which included my leg giving out on me as I was getting in and I landing on top of Rick. #awkward

I rode back early Sunday solo, but with some new found confidence in myself. I've already been asked if I would ever do another one & the answer is, with the right people (including those I teamed up with this weekend), yes! It was a difficult course, but definitely something I encourage everyone to try once. Go at your own pace, and get out there and put in the work. In the end, there is no time on your orange headband, so earn it however you choose!

One more day!

After reluctantly registering for the Tough Mudder 10 weeks ago, we are at 18 hours 'til go time! As I mentioned before, this was a race that I said I would never take on. I've always said I was going to keep my feet on the ground. My dad instilled in me to avoid danger. He was super protective and nervous of anything that involved danger and kept me steer clear of it. He was the type of guy that would freak out about anything and everything, and called to check in with both Gina and I multiple times a day, for things as little as car rides because "it's always the other person that will hurt you." With this, fears drilled into my head constantly and I've grown to do exactly that- fear the unknown.

On several occasions I have registered for races, promised friends I'd do something with them or go on a new ride at an amusement park, then at the last minute chicken out and cancel. I had the opportunity to be part of the Biggest Loser team for the SC Spartan in October and went out on a limb and did it. It would be a watered down version, I could test the waters without penalty, and there would be volunteers with us to assist when needed. It was one of the best decisions I had made for myself in a while, and though some obstacles went better than others, I followed through.

In March, when the bodyco team was created for the Tough Mudder, I was invited to join them and without hesitation gave them a big old no. I had my limits and in my mind Tough Mudder was where the line was drawn in the sand. They persisted. I am not very good at peer pressure. I found a coupon and before my mind could catch up to what I was doing, I registered. They didn't know this (well now they do) but my plan was to silence the peer pressure, then find some way to back out.

A few weeks later I got invited to a friends wedding, which was taking place the same day as the race. Done! I was out! Now I just had to decide when a good time to tell them was. I dragged my feet for multiple weeks and continued to train, some of which went so well that I was torn whether to back out.  Three weeks ago I decided I would tell Jody that day. I went into the training session unfocused and not in work mode. I was a complete jerk the entire time. Thinking back on it, I would've sent me home if I was on the other side of the fence. I was wasting my time and hers. However she didn't let up. Every time I bitched, she made me do it anyway. After the session, when I was supposed to head out for a 4 mile trail run and it started to rain, she gave me another circuit to do, so I wouldn't do nothing. She wouldn't let me off the hook. Her care for her clients are nothing that I've had experience with before and I again, chickened out....this time it being to my advantage. I headed to work and thought hard about everything- my past, the work that I have put in at bodyco in the almost year that I've been there, the time, dedication and great work Jody has put in with me, and the fact that I am constantly running from every fear I have. I booked my hotel for VT the next day.

I have spent the last few weeks looking to tomorow and though as i lay in my hotel room I am nervous as hell, I am even more excited. I have been watching Tough Mudder videos all weekend, and cannot wait to earn my orange head band. It will definitely be a tough course, but something i'm ready to take on full throttle. I have always had people relying on me, and am not good with relying on others, but Saturday I am ready to let my guard down and make things happen.

Hopefully the next time I write I will be in one piece and have some good stories to tell. In the meantime...let's do this Team bodyco!