I keep saying I'm going to update this more often and then slack. Today was kind of a big reflection day for me, so what better time to write than now? As my dad's first anniversary gets closer, and we plan his mass I am beginning to get really, really melancholy. I am good at the fake smile and plugging along, but today I got to genuinely smile when I needed it most.
As you all see from my multitude of social media posts, I am working real hard at getting myself more fit. I am at bodyco about 5 days a week and training for some upcoming OCR's and half marathons. I am teaching Spinning twice a week at bodyco and Fitness Balanced, as well as studying to be a certified trainer. From what started out as a way to blow off steam & stress during a difficult time, the awesome folks at bodyco have challenged me to become stronger and happier than I ever have been in the past. Being able to be pushed beyond what my mind things I can achieve is something I adore, and taking that encouragement to push others in my class to do the same is awesome.
One thing that always seems to haunt me however, is the scale. I sweat like crazy all over the gym, burning hundreds (sometimes over 1,000) calories at a time, yet the scale never moves...and many times when it does it's in the opposite direction. I often hover within a 4lb range and over the last 6 months or so have not been able to get out of that. After some persuasion, my desperation to move the scale, and really having nothing to lose except my sanity I took on the Advocare cleanse over the last week and a half. It just so happened that my home scale broke 2 weeks ago, so I couldn't continually weigh every day. I weighed at the gym the day before I started, 4 days in, and this morning (11 days from the start). Within the first 4 days the dreaded 4lbs were gone (still within my range), but mid way struggled a bit. I started to feel sluggish, heavy, and was certain I was gaining weight. I did have one slip up that night but promised myself that I would carry it out.
This morning before class & training I got back on the scale again to see that I was down another 2lbs. Weeks ago this number would have defeated me. For the last two weeks I've given up coffee, breads, alcohol and sugars. Without a doubt I would've thought the scale would've showed that, but it didn't. The old me would've either instantly cried, or stopped at Bagel World on my way to work because why not, i'm not making progress. However, I took a before and after picture of myself (as well as had one from March) & can physically see my body changing. I've had people mention to me that I "look fit" or "look great," but I often times don't believe it myself. It's definitely a photo that I will be keeping to a select few, but without a doubt gave me the confidence I needed to push even harder than I have and work to my goals of where I want to be. I have learned so much about myself in these past few weeks. The biggest being that I don't need all the terrible things I was putting into my body. I went from drinking multiple coffees to get me through my day to none at all. My love for tuna minus the mayo was still great and eating a baked sweet potato instead of fries didn't kill me. I felt so much more energy in workouts after trading my bagels for oatmeal and fruit and even was able to have a day out with friends drinking nothing but water.
I have a while to go before I am where I want to be, but after seeing in print where I came from, a spark was lit under me to work harder towards not going back. Towards the end of today's workout, when I thought I had nothing left in me, Jody told me I couldn't leave 'til I did 100 push ups. I felt myself about to get emotional & "I can't" was about to come out of my mouth, but knowing she wouldn't make me do anything she didn't think I could, I pushed through them piece by piece. Though a trainer is a support for their client, everyone at bodyco goes above and beyond that. Getting to work so closely with them, especially Jody inspires me to push harder. I'd be lying if I said I didn't shed a tear this afternoon when comparing my photo from March. I can't wait to see what's next!
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