5lbs down & feeling stronger

So I hit the 5lb mark this week! With the week I had, I was thinking the number would be at least 2, but so close!....1.8.

This has by far been one of the craziest weeks in quite a while. Balancing OT at work, getting in workouts, babysitting Aaliyah, trying to spend time with my aunt and keeping up with my parents, there have been many super early mornings and long nights. A few of the days I've had to force myself to eat, which is far different than a few months ago, when I would run to food/drinks every time I was stressed out.

Though my aunt could talk the ear off of a stone gargoyle, I am going to miss her being around after tomorrow. My dad has had so much joy in having someone at the house all the time to keep him company, take him out for air or someone to talk to. With that, he has had some decline this week, which has added a bit of stress onto things. As the time comes for her to leave, he is starting to grasp onto the fact that it will probably be his last time seeing her. Wednesday in particular, was pretty difficult. Knowing that she wanted to talk before I headed to work, I spent as long as I could at the gym, hoping to avoid "the conversation" but inevitably it came and the words "he is feeling better, not getting better" has haunted me since. Note to self- though running is a wonderful way to clear your head, running and crying- not so much. I did get in a good 45 minute stroll through the corn fields that night though. We also got my dad out of the house for a bit that afternoon and spent some time at Salem Willows.

On a positive note, I finished my first week of training and have been releasing some of my stress through that. Between that and classes I have been going pretty hard and starting to feel stronger. Yesterday's 8.3 mile run went particularly well. Though it took a mile or so to get going, I felt really comfortable once I got into a stride. I need to figure out some nutrition stuff to get me through the later part of the run, but otherwise I think weight training is helping!

Everyone at the gym is super supportive, which makes me want to better myself. Even when not in class, Jody keeps tabs on me via text and food logging. Knowing i'm being kept in check helps me choose better food options. (I just ate squash and sweet potatoes for lunch...a few years ago you couldn't get me close to a vegetable...except corn...I was always addicted to corn. :) ).

This week is more OT at work, and then party planning. Hoping to continue the good roll I've got going on this week with classes/runs/training!

House guests and OT make for multiple temptations

So this past week has been sort of weird. I have been consistent with writing down everything I am eating and drinking, and made time to get 5 hard workouts in, but still came up a little short on the scale this week. I am down 0.8 from last week, which is a tick in the right direction, but with the effort I put in, was hoping for at least 2. Everyday that I walked out of the gym or ran, I truly felt that I gave all I had. One of the days had me still shaking 2 hours later. Though mildly annoyed this morning, I am putting it behind me and looking to a new week. I know that I made some not so smart choices this week, and need to look back on where those were. For starters, I worked overtime last week. Generally, this wouldn't be too big of a deal, but often times at work there is temptation everywhere. I'm pretty certain that all 4 days I was there someone had either brought donuts or cake to the office. I am good at saying no to temptation initially, but when they then sit in front of you for 12 hours and you are tired at the end of the shift, temptation wins. It beat me many of those days. I was able to scale back to "a piece of" as opposed to the whole thing, but over time, I know they add up.

The other struggle this week was that my aunt has come in from Tucson to spend some time with my dad. It has been amazing to get to see her and spend time with her, but of course comes with getting less sleep and taking her places that you cannot find out west...seafood, Richardson's, Tuck's candy shop, "good pizza."

On the plus side, she has been taking care of mom and dad like a champ every day, which has given me some time to focus on me and get in solid workouts. I finally broke my usual 11min/ mile and got in 4 at an average 10:50/ mile pace. I'm hoping I can carry that for the race in a few weeks, though yesterday doing 7 didn't have much luck. I have just under 4 weeks left, so I'll be working towards that. To do so, and get myself a little more on track, I started training again. I've had a couple random sessions since I started at BodyCo, but really do want to work toward some solid goals and feeling like I can keep up in runs and in classes and not being the random girl in the back falling apart. I start tomorrow, so I'm sure I'll have updates soon. :-)

Food journaling & gaining some inspiration from previous races...

Last week was a little wonky with getting runs/ workouts in around my work schedule and doctors appointments, but the ones I did get in were pretty solid. Thursday was specifically a "mind change" sort of day. After spending Wednesday having a fun night of Chinese food and trivia with Mike (followed by chips, salsa and a margarita at the Mexican place next door), my 6am run scheduled for Thursday was particularly tough to wake up for. If I didn't have someone waiting for me to run with I certainly would have skipped it, but I made a commitment, and the 5am alarm had me heading to Lynn. Our 4 mile run ended up being 5, and as we were finishing up along the beach it reminded me of the multiple Breast Cancer Half Marathons I had completed previously. I am getting super worked up about my upcoming half marathon, but in retrospect, I have done the distance before. Seven times in fact. Some of those I was more prepared for than others, but I finished them all. I went home and looked back on a few of those races for a little inspiration.

Aside for my parents and grandparents seeing me walk across the stage in grad school, and my niece being born, my first race ranks in my top proudest moments. This was the race that initiated my fitness journey. Previous to this, I didn't walk to the mailbox voluntarily, let alone take on 13.1 miles. The previous year (April 2008) I was asked by a friend if I would do the Country Music Marathon in Nashville for her charity. Though I gave a firm "no" without a second thought, I did tell her that I would go there and cheer on her team with her. I had never been a race spectator, but the energy was so electric that day, that again without a second thought told her I was "all in" for the following year. I would have a year to train. I was 185lbs, so needed every day of that year. In my usual MO, I waited until February. Aside for the team I was running with, every person told me I was insane. I should give it up. I trained for 6 weeks and then tore my calf. Again was told (this time by docs) that running was a no go. Although completely defeated, we were allowed 4 hours to complete the race, so I figured if I could walk 15 min/mile I'd be able to get it done. I had already paid for my flight and hotel- so what did I have to lose? After spending 2 weeks on the recumbent bike, I wrapped my leg that morning and nervous as all get up, headed out. I finished in 3:08. Though I have since had better run times, including finishing the Las Vegas half this past November in 2:36 (and walked the last 2.5 miles of it) and 5 other Breast Cancer Half Marathons in between, the CMM is always the one I go back to for my boost of confidence.

I also started food journaling on Friday. There is no better way to feel guilty about how bad you eat until you have to think of writing it down. I have made some different choices in what I've eaten over the last few days, and have not drank any alcohol. I have also learned that I drink a ton of coffee at work...I guess sitting for 12.5 hours at a time will do that to you. I eat more when i'm working as well, mainly to have "something" to do during down time. Working on that. The night side of the shifts are usually when I eat my bad choice (ice cream...cake...a cookie). With that, I did lose 3lbs this week. I am not getting too excited until I get past the 5lb mark. I seem to sway within that range week to week, so once I break that I'll chalk it up as a small win.

I have been working the last 4 days, so my schedule has mostly consisted of sitting for 12 hours, driving home, sleeping and doing the same thing the following day. I did get up extra early yesterday and kept a friend who is training for a marathon company for the first half of her training run. Got 6.5 miles in, which has been my longest distance since the February half. It's moving slowly, but progressing in the right direction!

I joined the gym...again

So after moving from Eastie up to Danvers, I sort of fell off the wagon. There is a "gym" on our property, which basically consists of a few treadmills, ellipticals, a bike, some weight machines and free weights. I tried multiple times to make an effort to get there and would generally quit after a short time. It would either be 80 degrees in there, or I would get bored, or just generally lazy. I was signed up for the Breast Cancer Half Marathon in Jacksonville, and debated up until the day before I was getting on the airplane whether i'd actually go. This would be my fifth year doing it, and truly was the only reason why I would exercise at all. I generally trained as minimally as possible and would go down and do it....then feel like I wanted to die for the following two days. This year was no different. I had let my weight creep up, and generally felt kind of crappy. But I did it. I decided to enjoy the ride and take in the amazing 13.1 miles of breast cancer patients, survivors and their families cheering us on. It was wonderful! I flew back the next day, and continued on my sedentary life.

One week later dad got diagnosed with stage 4 esophageal cancer. And then my fitness went down the tubes. Between doctors appointments and hospital visits I would spend time making pit stops at any place that would serve me shitty food and alcohol. Lots of nachos and margaritas were consumed. Burritos became my go to lunch and dinner. I gained 15 more pounds on top of the 10 I gained during the move.

I never get notifications about Groupons, but for some reason one had come through to my phone about 6 weeks ago. It was for 20 fitness classes at a gym near my house. Without even thinking it through I bought it...then left it there for a few days. On a random Tuesday about a week later I decided i'd check out the gym. I took a class the following day & left realizing I was out of my league...but came back again the next day for some reason. Again got my tail handed to me, and decided to give up. A few days after that I got an email from one of the owners to set up a session with me. I gave it a shot, went and again got my tail kicked.

A few days later got another email. I was being held accountable. For some reason being kept in check made me appreciate the gym so much more and I started taking more classes, including a run class that I failed so miserably in that I turned back after 1 mile. I waited until I was farther enough back that nobody would notice I was missing and began panting my way back, defeated. I ran for a minute or so, what I thought was going to be enough to let me emotions go without being seen, when I heard "found you." She turned back and ran the rest of the way with me saying "i leave nobody behind." Though embarrassed, I was hooked. I am 14 classes in. As I begin to work harder physically I am beginning to eat better and take time for me. Yes, it's usually at 5:30am when everyone is still sleeping, but it's something.

I have a half marathon in less than 6 weeks. At this point I don't see a PR coming, but hoping to at least have the gusto to toe up at the start line. For me.