I joined the gym...again

So after moving from Eastie up to Danvers, I sort of fell off the wagon. There is a "gym" on our property, which basically consists of a few treadmills, ellipticals, a bike, some weight machines and free weights. I tried multiple times to make an effort to get there and would generally quit after a short time. It would either be 80 degrees in there, or I would get bored, or just generally lazy. I was signed up for the Breast Cancer Half Marathon in Jacksonville, and debated up until the day before I was getting on the airplane whether i'd actually go. This would be my fifth year doing it, and truly was the only reason why I would exercise at all. I generally trained as minimally as possible and would go down and do it....then feel like I wanted to die for the following two days. This year was no different. I had let my weight creep up, and generally felt kind of crappy. But I did it. I decided to enjoy the ride and take in the amazing 13.1 miles of breast cancer patients, survivors and their families cheering us on. It was wonderful! I flew back the next day, and continued on my sedentary life.

One week later dad got diagnosed with stage 4 esophageal cancer. And then my fitness went down the tubes. Between doctors appointments and hospital visits I would spend time making pit stops at any place that would serve me shitty food and alcohol. Lots of nachos and margaritas were consumed. Burritos became my go to lunch and dinner. I gained 15 more pounds on top of the 10 I gained during the move.

I never get notifications about Groupons, but for some reason one had come through to my phone about 6 weeks ago. It was for 20 fitness classes at a gym near my house. Without even thinking it through I bought it...then left it there for a few days. On a random Tuesday about a week later I decided i'd check out the gym. I took a class the following day & left realizing I was out of my league...but came back again the next day for some reason. Again got my tail handed to me, and decided to give up. A few days after that I got an email from one of the owners to set up a session with me. I gave it a shot, went and again got my tail kicked.

A few days later got another email. I was being held accountable. For some reason being kept in check made me appreciate the gym so much more and I started taking more classes, including a run class that I failed so miserably in that I turned back after 1 mile. I waited until I was farther enough back that nobody would notice I was missing and began panting my way back, defeated. I ran for a minute or so, what I thought was going to be enough to let me emotions go without being seen, when I heard "found you." She turned back and ran the rest of the way with me saying "i leave nobody behind." Though embarrassed, I was hooked. I am 14 classes in. As I begin to work harder physically I am beginning to eat better and take time for me. Yes, it's usually at 5:30am when everyone is still sleeping, but it's something.

I have a half marathon in less than 6 weeks. At this point I don't see a PR coming, but hoping to at least have the gusto to toe up at the start line. For me.